Mel’s Life

So back a few months ago I decided that if I was going to stay sane I absolutely must get a job. I decided that any job I took would have to meet a few requirements:
1. Little to no responsibility.
2. Less than 20 hours per week.
3. No need for learning anything extra aside from standard procedures and such.
4. Short distance from my home.

So with the above in mind and a JoAnn Fabrics less than a mile away from my house I started working at JoAnn in November and so far, it has been everything I expected. I have a good time there - I get to work with fabric all day, always know when the good sales are, get a discount, and sometimes I get to talk to knowledgeable sewers and quilters. Not surprisingly, I usually spend a lot of time explaining the most basic of concepts to people who couldn’t distinquish wool from silk on a bet. I know that I possess more sewing knowledge than the average person, but seriously, I can’t believe the ineptness of some of these people. Here, for the amusement of all (but mostly myself) I’ve provided exact quotes (for the most part) from the most “duh” moments of my carreer as a JoAnn Team Member.

1. “Where’s the Poly/Cotton?”
Answer: “Uh, everywhere.”
Probably every person who asked this question, in their mind, had a very clear picture of what they wanted. That’s great, but it doesn’t help me - there are hundreds of fabrics composed of a blend of polyester and cotton. I can show you some drapery lining that’s poly/cotton, or would you be interested in some flannel? I wouldn’t expect the average person to understand that terms like cotton, silk, rayon, etc. refer to a fiber and terms like “flannel, taffeta, seeksucker, etc. refer to a finish. But I do expect that anyone who finds themselves in a fabric store would understand that describing something as “poly/cotton” is not providing me with enough information.

2. Crazy looking woman with lipstick on her teeth: “Do you have that thing that’s like a little vacuum for cleaning up after you sew - like to pick up threads and stuff?”
Me: “Like a dustbuster?”
Crazy: “Yeah, but it’s for sewing.”
Me: “No, we don’t carry a handheld vacuum for cleaning up threads.”
Crazy: “Well I have a dustbuster thing, but I heard this one is specifically for picking up threads.”
Me: “Like a lint roller?”
Crazy: “Oh yeah, that would work too.”

Why anyone would actually purchase something to pick up threads after they sew is beyond me. For years I have evicted those evil strands of thread from my floor with a simple pass of the vacuum or a broom. If you really can’t seem to get them up, I’m quite sure any lint roller which can be purchased at your local supermarket or Target for about $2.00 would suffice.

3. Any one of the hundreds of people who have stood across the cutting counter: “How much fabric do I need to make curtains?”
Me: “How big are your windows?”
Anyone of many:”I don’t know.” or “Standard size.”

This one happens every day. If you know how big your window/bedspread/table/sofa/huge ass is, I can help you. But if you have no idea if your window is 6′ high by 5′ wide or 2′ by 1′ I really can’t help you. I can tell you that you need a lot more than you’d think to make a tablecloth that goes to the floor and covers a round table, I can tell you that for lush looking curtains you need three times the width of your window. If you didn’t measure before you came to the store, I’m not going to guesstimate for you. Like I’m going to let myself take the blame when you get home and realize you only needed a third of the 18 yards you purchased because you described your 2′ wide window as massive.

4. Ok, this one didn’t happen to me, but to a co-worker who really isn’t that bright. She was cutting some fabric for a customer who is a regular and it was quite a bit of fabric (like 8 yards) and when she went to fold it up, some of it fell of the counter and hit the floor. The customer got very upset and started yelling at this poor girl about how she should never let the fabric touch the floor because people are going to take it home and sew clothes out of it. Now again, not something I would expect a non-sewer to know, but this woman sews so she should have known - You always pre-wash fabric before you cut it out and sew it. For several reasons, but mostly because fabric tends to shrink, warp, etc. when you wash it the first time and you want to get that out of the way before you put seams in it which will pucker and look funny if you neglect to wash it first. I also can’t imagine anyone would think that fabric that’s been manufactured, rolled onto a bolt, boxed and shipped, unboxed, displayed, and then been touched, moved, and cut by tons of different people is anything close to clean.
Bottom line - if you don’t prewash your fabric before you sew, you are not a seamstress and you have no business acting superior to someone who works in a fabric store.

5. Woman: “Do you carry The Purple Thing?”
Me: “Purple thing? Is that the name of the product or the color?”
Woman: “It’s the name of the product.”
Me: “I’m not familiar with a product of that name, what is it exactly?”
Woman: “I don’t know what it is.”
Me: “Well is it a craft item, or a sewing item, or a quilting notion?”
Woman: “I’m just not sure, a lady I know said I needed one.”
Me: “Did she say what you needed one for?”
Woman: “No.”
Me: “Then I just don’t know.”

If you don’t know what something is, how do you know that you need one. As a side note, I think what she was refering to is a product called “That Purple Thang” which is a tool you use to turn small tubes right side out after sewing them up or threading elastic through a casing. We don’t carry that particular item, but we do carry items that do exactly the same thing - they’re called tube turners. If she could have explained to me what it was I could have helped her.

I could go on and on - maybe someday I’ll post the dumb question of the week or something. Probably not cause I wouldn’t be consistent enough with it. I am going to get around to putting up a gallery of some of the stuff I’ve made though. Stay tuned for exciting pictures of a spring jacket in a pink boucle, or a summery dress made from pink and white polka dot silky rayon, or hopefully a picture of a white and pink linen skirt that was supposed to have these lovely pink gore panels but just didn’t turn out and then got attacked by a dog, but god willing, will be salvaged into something both wearable and cute. I have a pink problem.

Filed by Mel at 4:20 am under Just a Thought